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confident without being arrogant

Many of the women I support in my coaching practice have a deep desire to feel more confident. At the same time, they also don’t want to come across as prideful.

They unwittingly believe that if they show up fully owning their gifts, they are not being humble. As a result, they dim their light and end up playing far smaller than they are truly capable.

The mistake my clients make, and one I see many women make, is they are confusing confidence with arrogance but they are not the same thing.

It has been my experience that those who come across as the most arrogant often have the most insecurities. Their arrogance is an attempt to mask the profound lack of confidence they feel deep down.

Truly confident people walk into a room with nothing to prove to anyone. They already know who they are. The arrogant or prideful person, on the other hand, often needs to make sure everyone knows how great they are.

There is a fine line between confidence and arrogance. Read on for 6 ways you can be confident without being arrogant.

Watch your words

Speaking as if you are better than anyone else is arrogance not confidence. Be mindful of the words you use when talking to others, including yourself. Condescending remarks create a sense of superiority over others, while self-deprecating words undermine your skills and abilities.

Acknowledge your areas of weakness

The truly confident person knows she is not perfect at everything. She willingly acknowledges her weaknesses and feels no shame because she knows how to operate in her zone of genius. Arrogance brushes aside any faults, pretending they aren’t there; confidence shores up areas of weaknesses so they don’t become liabilities.

Own your mistakes

It doesn’t feel good to make a mistake, especially for the recovering perfectionists in the room (raises both hands). But it’s not possible for you to always get it right. So when you make a mistake, own up to it and apologize without making excuses. Dismissing your mistakes makes you seem arrogant. While owning up to your mistakes even when it doesn’t feel good will help to grow your confidence.

Celebrate other people’s successes

Life is not a zero sum game. One person winning doesn’t mean there is less chance for you to win too nor does it make you a loser. When others around you are enjoying successes, celebrate with them because your only real competition is yourself. Your colleagues and friends are competitors only if you perceive them that way.

Notice your body language

Pay attention to how you are showing up in your body. When you walk into a room, hold your head up and walk tall. Stand with your feet firmly planted on the floor and avoid folding your arms in front of you. When you’re talking to someone make eye contact and be fully present. Listen don’t just wait to talk. And remember to smile J. These are small things but they go a long way in you feeling more confident.

Don’t take yourself too seriously

Adulting is hard  so give yourself permission to get lost in play like you did when you were a kid. It’s okay to act silly and have fun from time to time. Experiencing the child-like joy that comes from not taking everything so seriously will remind you that you are far more than the sum total of what you do.

True confidence is birthed from within it doesn’t come from outside you. Learning how to deepen your self-confidence is an important part of you stepping fully into your power. 

You can download a PDF of these 6 steps as a reminder that it is possible to be confident without being arrogant. 

Download your copy today.

Here’s to you growing your confidence and rising into your greatness!

From my heart to yours,





P.S: Download your copy of this FREE resource.

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This Post Has 8 Comments

  1. I randomly Googled a statement looking for an example to send a friend, and your page popped up. What wonder words of wisdom!! Light, cheery, and still a very power message. I look forward to reading more from you. Many thanks!

  2. Looking forward to hearing an enlightening response regarding 6 ways to improve my well being Thanks do much!

  3. Very grateful for your post. Been struggling so long to understand. This somehow also touched a bit on my concerns for sharing vs bragging. Confidence vs arrogance. Keep up the good work Makeda!!

    1. Thank you for commenting. I’m so glad this helped you make the distinction. I wish you the best as you continue to embrace the best of who you are and show up fully as YOU.

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