The desire to feel more confident is a consistent thing I hear from both my current clients and in conversations with potential new clients. The challenge these women have faced is there are times when their lack of confidence is showing up even without them realizing it.
As I’ve talked with dozens of women I’ve noticed several behavior patterns that are indicators of low self-confidence.
Today I’m sharing four of them. I share more in a free training I’m hosting next week. You can learn more about that at the bottom of this post. In the meantime, can you relate to any of these?
Taking criticism personally
When you lack confidence even the slightest bit of criticism sends you spiraling into negativity. You start telling yourself stories about how terrible you are and why you should never do such and such or why you’ll never be good enough.
You receive any feedback given as a personal statement about who you are rather than on what you are doing.
A confident person is able to objectively receive feedback and use it to improve their performance. They can separate who they are from what they do recognizing who you are shapes what you do and not the other way around.
Constantly seeking validation from others
It is one thing to want the approval of other people; it is another thing to NEED that approval. When your confidence is lacking your sense of self comes primarily from outside of you.
You need other people to think well of you in order for you to feel good about yourself. This external validation is so important you go out of your way to make sure people know when you do something so you can get publicly praised for your actions.
But your belief in yourself is shaped from the core of who you are inside, not from anything outside you. Any external validation should be used to reinforce your beliefs about yourself rather than being used as the basis for establishing them.
Consistently dismissing compliments
If you’re not fishing for compliments then the other way your lack of confidence shows up is in your inability to genuinely accept one. When someone compliments you rather than say thank you, you dismiss it as either not true or as a fluke.
I refer to this phenomenon as tic-tacking a compliment. Someone says you look nice, and you respond with “no, I really don’t”. Someone tells you that you did a good job on a project, you say “it really wasn’t that good. It could have been much better.”
When you are confident, you can receive a compliment without needing to attach a caveat to it. You can say thank you and allow yourself to feel the pleasure of it. You don’t have to become cocky about it but you can acknowledge something to be true when it is.
Apologizing too much
Apologizing even when no apology is needed is a sure sign that your self-confidence is lacking. Women, in particular, are prone to apologizing too much. We say the words “I’m sorry” at a far higher rate than men, diminishing ourselves in the process. This constant apologizing causes women to come across as uncertain, unclear, and even as if we should not be taken seriously.
If you notice one or more of these behaviors in yourself and you’re ready to change these habits. If you’re ready to show up more confidently in your world, then I invite you to schedule a complimentary Greatness Activation Call with me today.
On this call, we will take an honest look at what you truly want for yourself and what has been standing in the way of you achieving that dream. We will then look at what it will take to get you from where you are to where you want to be. Schedule your complimentary call today.
Here’s to you growing your confidence and rising into your greatness.
From my heart to yours,