Many of us are well versed in the comparison game. In many ways, it’s a game we’ve been playing since we were kids. Babies are measured against growth and weight charts – comparison. Kids are pitted against each other in school – comparison.
As adults, we compete with fellow co-workers for recognition and potential promotions – more comparison. Life feels like one long comparison game.
Comparison steals your joy, your peace of mind, and ultimately, your confidence. It doesn’t have to be that way.
Here are 4 ways you can ditch the comparison game.
Choose – Make the choice
To stop comparing yourself boils down to making the choice not to engage. It’s that simple and that hard.
The ability to choose is the single greatest power we have as humans. When you are comparing yourself to others you are making a choice. And since we don’t do anything unless it serves us, what benefit do you get from comparing yourself?
Does it reinforce an idea you already hold about yourself? Does comparing yourself serve as proof that you’re not ______________ (fill in the blank)? Is it a tactic for keeping you safe? Does it ensure that you don’t take any risks and stay safely tucked into your comfort zone, where everything is familiar and predictable?
Once you understand why you choose to compare yourself, you can begin to consciously make a different choice. If it is reinforcing a negative belief, then you can take steps to reframe those negative thoughts.
If it’s a tactic for keeping you safe, you can get curious about that perception and consider different ways to baby step your way out of your comfort zone.
Journal prompt: What benefit do you get from playing this game?
Concentrate on YOU and what you do well
When you play the comparison game, you focus on another’s strengths, while simultaneously downplaying or ignoring your own.
To break the comparison habit, turn your attention away from the other person and focus on what YOU have to offer.
It’s not about how good or strong you are at something compared to someone else. Nor is it about you trying to become like them. It’s about discovering the best way for YOU to show up.
Concentrate on the wonderful things about YOU, not the wonderful things about the other person.
Journal prompt: What are you and the people around you potentially missing out on because you are downplaying what you have to offer?
Celebrate other people and their wins
One of the side effects of playing the comparison game is that the green-eyed monster of jealousy gets a hold of you. I have found celebrating the wins of those I’m comparing myself to, to be a great antidote to jealousy.
I once heard someone say that jealousy is an invitation to say, “me next”. This perspective pulls you out of the either/or mindset comparison puts you in.
Either they can have it, or I can have it. Either they can be that way, or I can be that way. And since they already have it or are it, then I can’t.
You don’t realize that’s what you’re thinking and yet I believe this either/or thinking is at the root of the comparison game. Celebrate others and get out of this trap.
Journal prompt: Thinking about someone you’ve been comparing yourself to, how can you begin to celebrate them rather than compare yourself to them?
I’ve had a consistent gratitude practice for the last 8 years. It has served me through some of the most challenging times of my life and I can say, without a doubt, that cultivating gratitude is a simple yet powerful way to get out of the comparison game.
What you focus on will grow. If you focus on where you are deficient in some way, then that is all you are ever going to see. On the other hand, as you practice giving thanks for the things you do have – including your unique gifts and talents – then your awareness of and appreciation for those things begins to grow. Cultivate gratitude!
Journal prompt: Complete this sentence, I am grateful for this truth about who I am______________.
Here’s to you ditching the comparison game and rising into your greatness.
From my heart to yours,
P.S: If you are stuck in comparison and can’t find a way forward, let’s talk. Schedule a complimentary call with me today, where we can discuss what it will take to get you moving again. Click here to sign-up today.