Lately, it seems I have been talking to different people about the importance of boundaries in their life. Setting strong boundaries can be hard and yet I know that without good boundaries, you abdicate control of your life.
Because I have a lot to say on the topic, I’ve decided to start a short blog series on boundaries. I don’t know exactly how many posts it will be but I’m thinking three or four.
First up, is what they are and why they matter. I love a good acronym so I’m giving you 8 reasons for cultivating strong boundaries using the word B.O.U.N.D.A.R.Y. (See what I did there? Aren’t I clever? ).
B – Bad out, good in.
Boundaries aren’t walls that keep everything and everyone out. They are more like fences with gates in them. These gates allow the good in and keep the bad out. Or, if you’re new to setting boundaries, they help you learn what needs to go and what needs to stay.
When boundaries are too fluid, you are more likely to find yourself in toxic situations, surrounded by toxic people, who drain your energy. Strong boundaries keep you healthy in mind, body, and spirit.
O – Opens up more ease
An easily overlooked benefit of having strong boundaries is the ease it creates in your life and relationships. Ease doesn’t necessarily mean easy. Instead, it means there is more breathing room for you to take up space in ways that nourish and nurture you.
Rather than contracting and making yourself small for the sake of others, you expand into the fullest expression of yourself. There is freedom to be found in that space of ease.
U – Unravels anxiety and stress
Trying to be everything to everyone in your life is stressful. When you allow the needs of those around you to dictate your behavior, you set yourself up to potentially exist in an anxious state all the time. This is exhausting!
Clear boundaries can unravel this anxiety and stress in your mind and body. Knowing what will and will not work for you, keeps you from taking on any unnecessary stressors in your life. You learn to manage the situations in your life in ways that minimize your stress and anxiety.
N – Needs are met
You may be conditioned to think everyone else’s needs should come before your own. Or maybe, you think you shouldn’t have any needs. And any indication of having them is judged as being “too needy”.
But it is OKAY to have needs; it means you are human . Clear boundaries help you articulate those needs. They also teach you how to get those needs met. Having your needs met helps ground you and creates more confidence in you.
D – Discovering what truly brings you joy
An unexpected by-product of being well boundaried is you discover what really brings you joy. You have a limited amount of time each day. Imagine spending that time doing things less out of obligation, and more because it’s what you ACTUALLY wanted to do.
Boundaries help you spend your time in ways that energize you. You are more intentional and as a result, you create your life on purpose rather than by default.
A – Anger and resentment are reduced
Saying yes when you want to say no can lead to resentment. You get angry and frustrated with people around you, but you don’t say anything for the sake of keeping the peace or being nice. All of this only causes more resentment.
Setting boundaries, allows you to say out loud what is and is not okay. And when you are firm with those boundaries, speaking up when they are crossed, you allow any potential anger or resentment to get vented off.
R – Respect is developed.
Good boundaries are a sign of self-respect. When your boundaries are clear you are showing respect to yourself and also helping other people learn how to respect you. Remember, you teach people how to treat you by what you allow.
Y – Your yes becomes more sacred.
Every time you say yes to something, you are automatically saying no to something or someone else. Your YES is very powerful. Boundaries honor your YES for the sacred thing that it is.
When you have strong boundaries, people think twice before asking something of you. They are more intentional in their ask. In turn, your ability to be more generous and compassionate increases exponentially. Your yes is sacred; honor it as such.
I hope I’ve managed to convince you boundaries matter. They help give form and structure to your life. I’m looking forward to sharing more with you on this topic.
In the meantime, I’d love to hear from you. How are you with setting boundaries? Let me know in the comments below or email me your answer.
As always, here’s to you rising into your greatness.
From my heart to yours,