Let’s Talk Desire

Desire. It is a loaded word and if, like me, you grew up in a religious environment it is also a bad word. But is it really? Is desire bad?

Most people immediately think of desire in the context of sexuality but that is not what I am talking about. I am talking about the deep soul-level stirrings that most of us have been programmed to suppress.

We are conditioned to believe that our desires are selfish and therefore, should be ignored for the greater good (whatever that means). The truth is the vision we have for ourselves and for the world, begin with our desires. To ignore them is to potentially abdicate the role we are meant to play in bringing about change.

I believe denying desire is harming the souls of women. I believe it is teaching us to ignore our intuition and to believe that what we know to be true in our bones is not worth honoring.

Today, I want to give you permission to notice and acknowledge your desires by offering you three ways to look at desire differently.

Desire as an invitation

“Have the courage of your desires.” George Gissing

Desire is simply a strong feeling of wanting to have something or wishing for something to happen. In its purest form, it is neither good nor bad, it simply is. It is the judgment attached to desire that makes it one or the other.

When you find yourself desiring something, especially change, instead of judging it as bad or wrong, see it as an invitation to get curious. Your desire is a tugging from your soul letting you know it has something to tell you.

Approach your desire in a spirit of curious inquiry and see what it wants you to know. Start with the question why and keep asking why until you get to your answer.

You will know that you have arrived at the truth of what your desire needs you to know because everything in you will relax into that truth. You will feel it deep within you when the truth shows up.

Don’t be afraid of what you might discover. Instead, have the courage to hear the whispers of your desires.

Desire as a compass

“The starting point of all achievement is desire” Napoleon Hill

Your desires don’t have to “lead you astray” they can lead you exactly where you need to go; they can act as a compass pointing you in the exact right direction. Others may think you have gone astray but I prefer to think of it as you coming into alignment.

When your actions are contrary to your soul’s deepest longings, you are out of alignment and out of integrity with yourself.

Few things will mess with you as much as wanting one thing but behaving as if something else is more important to you (or worse yet, behaving as if what you want doesn’t matter at all).

Your mind pays a price with worry and stress; your body pays a price with aches and pains of inexplicable origins; and your relationships slowly start to deteriorate as you gradually lose the joy and excitement for life.

But if you can see your desires as a compass and follow that compass where it leads you, you just might discover a level of peace and contentment that has eluded you up until now.

Desire as sacred

“Love and desire are the spirit’s wings to great deeds.” Johann Wolfgang van Goethe

When I get underneath my own desires, or I help my clients get underneath theirs, I find, more times than not, something beautiful and pure.

As a result, I have come to see that goodness is at the root of most desires. Goodness that is almost always about creating change for the better.

This is why I see desire as sacred. I believe desire is how the Divine invites us to know ourselves better. I see them as divinely planted seeds that we are asked to nurture and cultivate to their fullest potential.

It is in knowing ourselves and honoring the best of who we are and the gifts we have to offer that we can ultimately change the world.

So here’s to you owning your desires and rising into your greatness.

From my heart to yours,

What are your thoughts about desire? Do you see it as bad, good or neutral? Let me know in the comments below or head over to Facebook and share with me there.