I came across this quote recently and it occurred to me that while instinctively we know this to be true, we behave as if the opposite is true.
We berate and put ourselves down, somehow believing that if we abuse ourselves or allow the constant tirade of negative things to stay unchecked in our minds, it will motivate us to do better.
If you’ve been a part of my community for any length of time you know that I actively oppose that kind of thinking. I believe this tendency towards self-hatred is causing women to lose their voices and give up their power.
I include myself in this because I have to apply my own medicine regularly to stay in a place of compassion and kindness to myself. It is way too easy to fall into the dangerous and sometimes insidious comparison game, especially as an entrepreneur. So when I talk about this I am speaking from personal experience.
I think this propensity for hating ourselves comes from an inherent belief that we are not enough. It is believing that if we can just change this thing or that thing, we will be better and, therefore, more worthy of love. This is both erroneous and harmful.
When you forget that you are enough, here are 7 things you can do to support yourself when you’re feeling not enough.
When you notice that you’re comparing yourself with someone else, make a conscious decision to stop. More times than not, you are comparing your inside to someone else’s outside and that is like comparing apples to oranges Both are fruit and they are similar in shape but they are very different. It is the same with you and whomever it is you think is better than you.
Let go of perfectionism
Perfection is not a human option and when you strive for it, you set yourself up for continued frustration. Instead of perfection, focus on progress. Notice the steps forward that you have taken, even if there were some misses along the way you are still moving forward and that’s what matters.
Emphasize the positive
A key to overcoming feeling not enough is to emphasize the positive. Instead of focusing on all the things you are doing wrong, notice all the ways you ARE succeeding. What you focus on is what grows, so put your attention on the things you are doing right. Celebrate your wins and all the things that are going well.
Make peace with now
You are exactly where you are supposed to be right now, in this moment. Even if this space is a hard one, it is where you are. You will only increase your suffering if you resist what is. Acknowledge and accept that you are where you are. You won’t stay here but for now, this is your reality. You can’t always control what happens to you but you always have to power to choose your response. Until you make peace with what is you will remain stuck, unable to move forward.
Failure can either be stepping stone forward or a wall that stops your progress; the choice is yours. Every failure has within it a lesson (or two) that you can learn. Glean those lessons and see how you are wiser for having learned them and then move on. If you’re failing it means you’re trying and that is always a good thing.
Choose to believe differently
Believing you are enough, often, boils down to making the choice to believe it to be true. Simple but definitely not easy. Still, you have the power to choose what you believe is true. You get to choose! Every day, in every moment, you get to choose love or hate, compassion or judgment. As it relates to how you treat yourself, choose wisely.
Finally, your sense of enoughness can never come from outside yourself. Look within and celebrate all that is amazing and wonderful about who you already are. Changing nothing, exactly as you are today is not just enough it is more than enough.
Here’s to you overcoming feeling not enough and rising into your greatness!
If you find yourself constantly dealing with feeling as if you are not enough and you are ready to do something about it, let’s talk. Schedule a complimentary call with me where we can discuss what it could look like for you to be embrace your enoughness.