Since writing last week’s post on changing my money story, I’ve been thinking a lot about what it takes to change a story.
When there are aspects of your life that don’t feel right, or at the very least feel out of alignment in some way. When what you’re doing isn’t working even though it’s how you’ve always done things. When the self-talk in your head is on repeat reminding you how not enough you are, it’s time to change the story.
But changing the story you’ve been used to living is not easy. It can feel too hard to shift something that ingrained in you. Still I know it can be done. All you have to do is A.C.T. (simple but not easy).
Like most things in life, changing your story starts with awareness. Awareness of the story you are currently living AND awareness of the story you want to replace it. You can’t write a new story without knowing both of these things.
Start with your current story. A few questions to ask yourself:
Where do you have outcomes you don’t want?
What stories are you telling yourself to support that outcome?
Where did those stories originate?
This is where complete honesty with yourself is important. It may not be easy to admit or look at but if you don’t start here, you can’t move forward.
Once you’re clear about where you are, then you have to become aware of what it is you really want. Your job here is not to decide what is or is not possible. Your job is to feel into what you truly desire.
You already know what’s not working so what do you want instead? This isn’t about grandiose dreams, this is about anchoring into what you sense life may be asking of you.
When I realized I was living a not enough money story, my desire wasn’t to become a multi-millionaire and move into an expensive house. No, my desire was simply to live my day-to-day life from a place of knowing I always had more than enough to meet my needs. In time, that dream would expand but it started out as wanting to consistently live in a space of having more than enough.
Once you are clear about the new story you want to tell, the next thing needed is courage. It will take courage for you to move away from what is familiar towards what is unknown.
You may know what you want but there’s no telling the numerous obstacles and barriers you will have to overcome to get there. It will feel incredibly scary and you will have many days when you wonder if all this work is worth it (the answer is yes).
You’ll need courage to face your own internal demons – the negative self-talk, the limiting beliefs, and the incessant doubt. You’ll also need courage to deal with the people around you.
Not everyone in your world is going to like the idea of you making changes. Your changing risks their sense of safety. More than that, you changing will challenge them to make some changes too and they may not be ready. They may try to sabotage your efforts by holding you responsible for you how they’re feeling. But that’s not yours to carry so don’t fall into that trap.
Finally, when the setbacks come, and they will, you have to stay tenacious. Tenacity is defined as the quality of being able to hold firm to something. It is the stick-to-it-ness that will sustain you in those moments when you (or other people) start questioning what you’re doing.
Remember what’s at stake if things stay the same. Hold onto the vision of what it is you really want. Otherwise, it will be too easy for you to fall back into old habits.
Let me also say that you will have missteps along the way. There will be days you get it right and days when you pick up your old way of thinking again. The key is noticing when you’re playing the old story and immediately put your focus back where it needs to be.
Changing your old stories isn’t easy work but it is work worth doing.
Here’s to you rising into your greatness,
If you know that you are living a story that is not working for you and you’re ready to change that story, let’s talk. Schedule a complimentary call with me today where we can discuss what it could look like for you to live into a new story.