Beaches, Bugs and Breakdowns

This week’s post is a very personal post but I hope it will encourage you today.

I am writing this week’s post from Sydney, Australia. It seems that I am unable to travel without it turning into some sort of unexpected adventure. I got lost in Italy, which really wasn’t that bad but Sydney’s unexpected adventure has been a bit more trying on me.

This is my second visit to Sydney. I first came 5 years ago in June/July, which is their winter. This time I am here for their summer months. The weather has been beyond lovely but what has not been lovely, is the ginormous size bugs that seem to like the Australian summers.

The Bugs

I had been warned about the bugs in Australia but, honestly, I assumed it wouldn’t be THAT bad. Well my momma always told me not to assume and I should have listened to her.

These bugs are no joke. It wouldn’t be so bad if the bugs stayed outside (WHERE THEY BELONG) but they insist on coming inside. The tipping point was finding one of these monstrous size bugs on my leg. Seriously, I cringe even thinking about it now.

I don’t like bugs! I REALLY don’t like bugs and the bigger they are, the worse it is for me. To say my first several days bordered on traumatic would not be an exaggeration. I wasn’t sleeping well for fear that I was going to wake up with bugs all over me. I was jumpy because I didn’t know when I would find one somewhere I wasn’t expecting. I was a mess!

The Breakdown

By my 5^th day here I was so traumatized I broke down completely and ended up in tears.  At that point I started contemplating changing my ticket and coming back home early because I didn’t think I could do this for two more weeks.

Then two things happened that shifted things for me. First, I learned that the house I’m staying at had just been fumigated a couple of weeks ago and much of what I was seeing was the residuals of the bugs running from that process. Evidently it takes two to four weeks for the process to be complete. Thankfully I’m now only seeing dead bugs. A dead bug = a happy Keeda.

The second thing that happened was much more unexpected but it probably settled me more than anything else (except the beach but that’s coming up later). My friend knows someone who is a Shaman (traditional Indian or Aboriginal spiritual practice). She told us that, in the Shaman tradition, the presence of the particular bug I kept seeing was an indication of needing to let go of old things and acclimating and settling into new and uncomfortable things.

It took me a minute to really sit with those words but as I did I realized that it made perfect sense for where I am on my journey right now.

I am just beginning to lean into some changes I want to make in my business. These are changes I feel drawn to make but they still feel uncomfortable on several levels. Fully embracing this new direction means letting go of some old obligations, as well as some old expectations of me. It means getting comfortable with a whole new level of uncomfortableness and while I know I have to do it, it’s all still a bit scary.

The thing is I know this move is the right move for me, at least for right now. A year from now things could look a lot differently but for now this is what I need to do. And while it does feel scary, I’m going to feel my fear and do it anyway. I’m going to take the fear with me and use it as a compass because I know that often my fear is pointing in the direction I need to be going.

 Ahh, The Beach

The day after my breakdown I spent the day at the beach. Sydney has a walkway that runs along several beaches. I walked that path, sat on cliffs by the water and let the ocean heal my battered spirit. By the next day, the ocean had indeed worked its magic and I felt like myself again.

It was a tough few days but as I reflect back on it, I see even more lessons than I have already shared. I also know that I’m not the only person who has some letting go to do.

Is there anything that you are holding to that you need to let go?

Are there any expectations that have served as a filter for your dreams and possibilities?

What if together, you and I, decide that we’re going to shake off those expectations and leap fully into the dreams birthing inside us? I’m jumping; want to come with me?

Share in the comments below or email me and let me know what scary thing you need to do. I’ll hold you in my thoughts and prayers and together we’ll do that thing we know we must do.

And if you want even more support, click here to schedule a free coaching call.

From my heart to yours,

Here are a couple of pictures from my trip so far. You can find more on my Facebook page so head over there and say hello if we aren’t already connected.