This is the second of a two-part series on releasing perfectionism. You can click here to read part 1. Today, I want to share three additional tools that can help you to release perfectionism.
The idea of perfection being possible is pervasive in our culture. Ad agencies, including “social media influencers”, sell us this lie, and people are killing themselves trying to aim for it.
Maybe not literally, though I think that does happen in the world of adverse eating disorders. But for sure people are burning out and putting their health at risk striving for something that IS NOT POSSIBLE!
If you want to free yourself from perfectionism here are three things you need to change. Each of these could be a whole blog post in itself. I offer them as tools for you to try out in your work to release perfectionism.
Change your perspective
The first thing to change is your perspective, specifically your perspective on failure. Closely tied to perfectionism is a fear of failing, of making a mistake. This fear leads to a belief that failure is a bad thing. It’s seen as proof that you are less than in some way.
I would offer that failure is evidence you are becoming MORE of who you are meant to be, not less.
Failure means that you are trying, which is a good thing. And every failure teaches you more about yourself (if you’re willing to learn it).
You get to see yourself more honestly with each failure. A failure may show you that something is definitely not you. Or it may teach you how to lean even more into who you are by revealing the ways of showing up that don’t work for you.
You may never love failing, but if you want to release perfectionism, changing your perspective on failure is a necessity.
Change your self-talk
The second thing you want to change is your self-talk. This includes your self-talk around perfection being an option AND also your self-talk after you’ve made a mistake.
Replaying it over and over in your mind is not helpful. Neither is beating yourself up with an onslaught of negative thoughts. These only shut you down and keep you playing small.
Changing your self-talk boils down to a choice. You have to CHOOSE different thoughts to replace the negative ones running through your mind. This is where mantras become helpful.
Mantras were key in helping me release the need to be perfect. Things like: “It’s not perfect AND that’s okay.” “I made a mistake (or I failed) AND I’m still worthy of love and belonging.”
Find words that work for you. When you notice the old thoughts, replace them with the new thought/mantra.
Change your permissions
In the software world, permissions determine what is and is not allowed. It determines who can do what with the software. For something to be done that isn’t permitted, the permissions in the software must be changed.
In the same way, you have to change your heart and mind’s permissions to allow for imperfections. You haven’t allowed them up and now you want to make space for the beauty to be found in the imperfections.
Change your permissions around perfection. Remind yourself that it’s not an option and striving for it, is a waste of valuable time and energy.
If necessary, write yourself an old-fashioned permission slip and put it somewhere you can see it regularly.
Good is Good Enough
I used to teach that good was the enemy of the best. But now I see that is a harmful narrative and results in people striving for something that is not possible. Excellence gets confused with perfection and the result is people burning out on life trying to achieve the impossible.
Sometimes good is good enough.
You do not have to hustle or try to prove your worthiness by being perfect. You, exactly as you are right here today with all of your imperfections, are ENOUGH.
Here’s to you releasing perfectionism and rising into your greatness.
P.S: If you are struggling with perfectionism and would like personalized support, let’s talk. Click here to schedule a complimentary call with me today. It’s a free, no obligation call where we can look at how perfectionism is impacting your life. Schedule your call today.
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