Overcoming self-doubt is tricky business. Second only to fear, I believe doubt is the most powerful thing keeping people tethered to a life that is less than the one they are capable of living. Shakespeare had it right when he said many a good thing has been lost because of doubt.
Here are 6 steps you can take to help you in overcoming self-doubt.
Acknowledge your strengths and then play to them
You are not good at everything. There are things that you are good at but then there are the things that you are really good at doing. Get super clear on your strengths, the places where you shine and light up the most and then focus your time and your energy in those places. What you focus on grows, so spend your time focused on what you do well and learn to let other people handle the things you don’t do well.
Get people around you who believe in you
Everybody needs cheerleaders. Get some people around you who genuinely believe in you and will support you as you move forward. When you don’t remember how to believe in yourself, your cheerleaders can believe for you. You will need that because there will be days when you will be convinced you can’t do it. Your cheerleaders will remind you that you can, and sometimes all you need is that reminder to keep you moving forward.
Stop comparing your inside to everyone’s outsides
I’ve talked, before, of the danger of the comparison game but it bears repeating here. It is dangerous to your dreams and your goals to spend time comparing yourself to other people. The terrible part of comparison is that you are often comparing yourself to something that is not real or at the very least is incomplete. The comparison game pits your inner self-talk against someone else’s very well put together outer persona. Doing that is not simply comparing apples to oranges, that’s comparing apples to tires. They might have similar shapes but they are not even in the same category. So when you find yourself comparing, stop!
Forget what everyone else is saying about you
My new favorite saying is, what other people think of you is none of your business. If you start making it your business you will never do the things that ARE your business. You have to stop obsessing about what this person says or what that person thinks. If you struggle with this try remembering another favorite of mine from Dr. Seuss, “those who matter don’t mind and those who mind don’t matter.” Do your thing and don’t worry about the naysayers. There will always be someone with something negative to say. They don’t deserve your time or your energy.
Release the need for external validation
Another step to take in overcoming self-doubt is to recognize that the approval of other people can’t be your primary motivator. It’s okay to want to hear people say you did a good job but if you allow yourself to rise and fall on the validation of others you will never make the progress forward you need to make. Stop looking outside yourself for approval and know that if you are doing the best that you can and giving it your all then, in the end, that is what matters most.
What I mean here is find a mentor or someone who can be a support for you; someone who has been there, done that. It doesn’t matter what it is you are trying to do, it is incredibly valuable having someone who can help show you the way. You don’t know what you don’t know and without a mentor you will struggle more than you need to. It is awful feeling like you’re floundering with no idea how to do the things you know you need to do but don’t know how to do. A mentor can help you avoid some painful mistakes and with their guidance you can soar further than you thought possible.
Everyone deals with self-doubt, even the most confident person battles with it on some level. But you don’t have to let it trip you up or keep you back. Overcoming self-doubt is possible and these 6 steps are a good place to start. Use them as needed and watch how your perspective changes on things.
I believe in you! You can do this!
From my heart to yours,
If you are wrestling with self-doubt and can’t seem to pull yourself out of the negativity in your head long enough to chase the life you really want, let’s talk about how coaching can support you. Click here to schedule a call with me today.
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