Last week we talked about how to identify limiting mindsets. You can click here to read the whole post. This week we are going to look at overcoming limiting beliefs.
I believe curiosity is the key to overcoming limiting beliefs. If you can start to get curious about why you do what you do or think the thoughts you think, you can begin to uncover and then change the beliefs that are no longer serving you.
In the matrix I shared last week, the first place limiting mindsets show up is in your thoughts. Therefore, learning to silence the voices in your head is a good tactic for overcoming those limiting beliefs.
For a long time there was a very powerful voice in my head, although let’s be honest there are a lot of voices going on in my head. Sometimes when I’m talking to myself I like to say that the voices and I are having a conversation ☺. But for a long time one voice was louder than the others. She was very demanding and extremely critical of me. When her voice was loudest in my head, I was left feeling inadequate, incapable and all around not good about myself.
That all changed when I gave her a name. It’s hard to stand up to someone when you feel like you’re standing up to yourself. So I gave the voice in my head a name and when she started talking, I started talking back to her and challenging what she was telling me. I call her Holly (no offense to anyone named Holly, the name just fit perfectly at the time) and somehow just naming her started to take away the power of her words.
As Holly’s voice got quieter in my head, I was able to start asking questions about why she had so much power. As I got curious about the why behind the thoughts, I began to notice that some of what she was saying was an attempt to protect me but a lot of it was coming from other people’s expectations. They were things that had nothing to do with me but everything to do with who other people said I “should” be.
You have to keep asking why until the truth presents itself and if you leave space for it, the truth WILL come.
When a particular thought shows up take a minute and ask yourself, where did that come from? Ask yourself why you believe that thought to be true and see where the answers take you. Keep asking why until you land at what’s really going on. When you arrive at the truth, your entire being will feel it.
What About Those Ham Edges
The same principle applies when it comes to your behavior. Ultimately your actions are being driven by a belief or thought. When you look at what you do, get curious about the why behind your actions. Is there some underlying thought process driving your behavior? Maybe you’re doing something because that’s the way it’s always been done in your family but you’ve never stopped to ask if that’s the way you want or even need to do something.
It’s like the story of the little girl who asked her mother why she cut the ends off the ham when she was cooking dinner. Mom’s answer was because that’s what her mother had done. When the little girl asked her grandmother, grandma’s response was that’s the way her mother had done it. The little girl then went to great-grandma, who happened to still be alive. It turns out the reason was because back when great-grandma was cooking, the oven was too small so she cut off the ends so the ham would fit. Generations later they were cutting off the ends of the ham when they didn’t need to anymore.
Is there anything in your life that you’re doing just because it’s what you saw done before you? Ask yourself, if what you are doing is really right for you and again, see where the answers take you.
Calling on Courage
This asking why is not an exercise for the faint in heart. Lots of courage is required because it means peeling back layers that have not been touched in years, possibly even for generations. It means opening up the closet doors and getting underneath the proverbial rug and bringing into the light those things that have grown in the dark.
I do not recommend undertaking this task without some support. Whether it is with close friends (and I mean really close friends. This kind of work requires deep trust so it can’t be just anybody) or the help of a professional, I strongly recommend that someone support you as you undertake this work.
There will be times when it will feel incredibly hard but I promise you, in the end it will be worth it. Getting underneath the lies that are holding you back and overcoming those limiting beliefs will serve you and those you lead in ways that are hard to put into words. Get curious and be courageous, your greatness is on the line.
Here’s to you rising into your greatness!
From my heart to yours,
If you’re tired of allowing limiting beliefs to get in your way and you’re ready to do something about it, schedule a complimentary coaching call with me. Don’t put it off any longer, you’ve waited long enough.