Each year, instead of making any resolutions, I choose OneWord that I want to embody my year. I say that I choose the word, but the reality is the word chooses me. I’ve been doing this process since 2011 and it has proven to be a useful way for me to move through the year with intention.
Playing Small and Hiding
When this year’s OneWord first presented itself, I wasn’t sure what to do with it. I sensed right away that it would be my word, but I wasn’t certain. It wasn’t until I read these words that I knew for sure:
“Whatever that spark is that makes each one of us alive and unique…mine had gone. Stolen like the paintings on the wall. The flickering flame responsible for lighting me up from the inside, making me glow, keeping me warm…my candle had been blown out. I was shut down. I was tired. I was afraid. Small. Quiet.” [i]
I didn’t write those words, but I felt like I could have. They perfectly described how I felt about my life. I was going through the motions of life and on the outside, things looked good. Anyone looking at me would swear that I was mostly happy. Truth is I wasn’t…I’m not.
I’m tired. I’m shut down. I have retreated into myself, desperately trying to protect myself from I’m not sure what exactly but I know I’m hiding from my life. I’m living the same day every day and calling it a life, which is no life at all.
Year of Yes
That is why for 2020 my OneWord is YES. This will be my year of YES. A year of saying YES to all the things. I wasn’t fully certain what that could look like until I created my Vision Board for 2020.
If you look at my board, it would seem that Joy is my word. As I was going through the process of creating my board, I realized that my year of YES is about me accessing my joy. I’m committing to saying YES so I can discover the things, people, places, activities that bring me joy.
Joy is the feeling I want more of in 2020. Saying YES to everything is my path to finding it. So, I’m committing to a year of saying YES.
Yes to everything scary.
Yes to everything that takes me out of my comfort zone.
Yes to everything that feels like it might be crazy.
Yes to everything that feels out of character.
Yes to everything that feels goofy.
Yes to everything! [ii]
My First Yes
The first thing I have said YES to is going back into counseling. 2019 stirred up a lot of unresolved trauma and grief in me. I want to heal those parts of me this year. I also know myself well enough to know that if I don’t have some accountability, my year of YES will turn into my year of “what-had-happened-was…”. So, my therapist is also my first line of accountability on this year’s journey.
I have no idea what this year will bring. But I am hopeful that this year of YES will open me up to new joys and unexpected delights.
What about you? What are you hopeful for in 2020? I’d love to hear from you, leave a comment below or send me an email.
Here’s to both of us discovering what makes us happy this year.
From my heart to yours,
P.S: If you would like to make your own Vision Board, click here to download a copy of the 2020 Vision Board Guidebook.
[i] Shonda Rhimes, Year of Yes, (Ships At A Distance, Inc, 2015), 26
[ii] Ibid, 33-34