There was a time in my life when I knew I needed to make a change but for the life of me I could not figure out how to get started. I was feeling stuck and could not find a way out of the space I was in.
I hear similar stories of stuckness from my clients now too. Looking back over my life and what I’ve seen in my clients, I’ve noticed a pattern of 5 things that can keep you feeling stuck.
Whether it is a relationship you need to leave, a job you need to change, or old habits that need releasing these 5 are key culprits in encouraging you to stay stuck rather than moving forward.
There’s a great song in the movie High School Musical, called Stick To The Status Quo. In the scene, several of the students are sharing about things they love but are outside of people’s expectations of them.
Their friends respond by letting them know “it’s better by far to keep things as they are”; and “if you want to be cool, follow one simple rule, don’t mess with the flow, stick to the status quo.”
Sticking to the status quo is all about not rocking the boat. It’s about not wanting to make things uncomfortable by doing something different. It’s human nature to want to keep things predictable.
We like when things are familiar and it is that familiarity that keeps you feeling stuck.
Closely connected to the status quo is the uncertainty of what could happen if you DID do something different.
I’m a planner. I like knowing EXACTLY what’s going to happen so I can have a plan. Maybe you can relate? The problem is when you step outside your comfort zone there is no way to know for sure what’s going to happen.
That uncertainty can hold you back from taking any steps forward. Because you can’t anticipate what might happen, you choose to stay where you are. And sometimes the pain you know is sometimes better than the joy you don’t know.
Uncertainty is a big one for keeping you stuck.
You can get stuck in a pattern of complaining and not see how the complaining is keeping you exactly where you don’t want to be. It is far easier to complain about how terrible things are than to take any action to actually change things.
Complaining keeps you focused on what’s not working and what you focus on is what WILL grow. Continue complaining and all you will be able to see is more to complain about. You’ll never see a way out, which brings me to the next one.
Lack of vision
An inability to see what’s possible is another culprit that keeps you feeling stuck. When you don’t allow yourself to imagine a different outcome, you see only what you have always seen.
Imagining a new possibility involves stretching yourself and that stretching can be very uncomfortable. But having different starts with envisioning different and then believing that different can happen. However, it’s easy to dismiss it as impossible and never take the first step towards change.
I saved the best for last because all of the above can be summed up as fear. Fear of failing, fear of succeeding, fear of what other people will think, fear of doing something wrong. These are just a few of the fears that pop when we think about change. I know that I’ve felt every one of these and about a dozen more.
The thing about fear though is it’s usually pointing you in the direction you need to go. If it were not the right thing for you to do you wouldn’t feel so much fear.
At the same time, I understand how paralyzing the fear can be. But my experience has taught me that fear is lessened with any movement forward. It doesn’t have to be big giant leaps (though those are necessary sometimes); baby steps DO count!
So my question to you is, what baby steps can you start taking to stop feeling stuck?
Over the next few weeks, I’ll be sharing tips to get you moving again. But if you would like to get a head start, you can download this FREE resource I have for you. It has 26 different strategies to get you unstuck and moving forward.
Here’s to you getting unstuck and rising into your greatness.
From my heart to yours,
P.S: If you’re done with the stress and frustration of being stuck and you’re ready to experience more freedom but you suspect you could use some support, let’s talk. Click here to schedule a complimentary call with me. On this call we will talk about what it you want, what has been standing in your way and what it will take to move from where you are to where you want to be.