Despite the turmoil happening in the world right now, I am committed to holding myself accountable for sharing about my year of YES. Click here to see the previous months’ recap.
In May, restrictions related to the coronavirus started to lift in my city. I, however, chose to continue sheltering in place. Despite this, the month of May presented multiple opportunities for me to lean into my Year of YES.
Here’s a look at what I said YES to in May:
Social media break continued
In May I contemplated officially returning to social media. I have gotten on FB and IG a couple of times when I need to search for something particular. But each time I checked in with myself it did not feel right to return.
I was doing some deep inner work (see shadow work below) and the continued silencing of outside noise remained necessary. As the month ended with the murder of George Floyd, I wrestled with going back. Ultimately, however, returning still wasn’t the right decision for me. So, I have continued my social media break and I will say it has been good for my soul.
We are not either good or bad; we are all made up of light and shadow. The shadow is the parts we want to hide away from others (and sometimes even ourselves).
At the beginning of May, while journaling, a belief about myself showed up that completely surprised me. I didn’t realize it was there. Yet, as I sat with it, I could see how this belief had colored every area of my life for a very long time. This is why I love journaling so much because when pen hits paper, a light emerges that illuminates the darkness.
As I did some work around this belief, I began to see where I had put parts of me into shadow. They are aspects of myself that I decided were bad and I tried to distance myself from them; pretend they weren’t there. The problem is I always knew they were there and often judged myself because of it.
What I learned through the Shadow Work I did this month is by not embracing those parts of me I was undermining my confidence. I will never fully be who I am meant to be if I cannot accept all of me – the good, the bad, AND the things I think are ugly.
It took me most of the month to work through all of this. I have no doubt more layers will have to be peeled back. Still, I feel more accepting of myself now and that is a good feeling.
Another opportunity unexpectedly came my way this month to do a podcast interview. I won’t record the interview until the end of June. But the invitation came in May and I said YES. This time I’ll be talking about the role nature has played in this city girl’s healing. And also, how navigating change is a lot like moving through nature’s seasonal cycles. My preliminary chat with the interviewer was a lot of fun. She feels like a kindred spirit and I’m looking forward to doing the interview.
A long weekend
I know this landing on my list of YESes seems strange. The truth is, I had not taken any time off since the beginning of the year. Part of me felt silly since going anywhere was out of the question.
But I could feel my soul asking for some downtime. The number of people I’m coaching has gone up and even though I’m not leaving my house, I am still doing a lot of people-ing. This introvert was peopled out. So, I spent 4 days essentially talking to no one. Not via text, phone, or video. It was glorious 😊.
Moments of Joy
I have continued to chronicle my daily moments of joy. Here are a couple of highlights from May:
Catching up with high school friends via Zoom – It was so fun seeing several of my high school friends. During a pandemic, gathering with old friends even virtually was a huge gift.
Learning that Hamilton is coming to Disney+ – I may have shed real tears (of joy) when I heard the stage production movie will be aired in July. Now I know how I’ll be spending the 4th of July weekend 😊.
Sitting out on my patio – Whether I’m working or simply relaxing, my patio has become one of my favorite places to be. Add in the rain and it’s even more magical. A newfound joy for sure.
Fred Hammond/Kirk Franklin Verzuz challenge – The grief of George Floyd’s murder landed on me quite heavily. The Verzuz challenge between these two gospel greats was EVERYTHING! I laughed, cried, prayed, and danced my way through two and a half hours of some of my favorite gospel music. It was exactly what my soul needed.
This year of YES continues to surprise me. Even though the pandemic has made the journey look very different than I imagined, my year of YES is definitely opening me up. I look forward to seeing what new gifts come my way next month.
Now it’s your turn. How was the month of May for you? Tell me in the comments below.
From my heart to yours,