One of the values that drive my work is the power of telling the truth from deep within you. I call it soulful truth telling because it is about honoring what is unfolding in your soul and daring to give words to that unfolding.
But truth telling is hard work. It is far easier for us to create narratives that allow us to avoid pain, either our own or other people’s.
I have a client who is adept at spinning the details of a story so that she can avoid feeling any pain associated with what is happening. I spend a lot of time redirecting her to see what is really happening instead of looking through the filter she has created.
My client is not alone in her avoidance of her truth though. I notice I have a very difficult time speaking my truth when I believe it will injure someone I care deeply about.
That instinct to avoid pain is human nature but when we fail to tell the truth, even to ourselves, I believe we damage our souls on some level.
Learning to speak your truth is a necessary skill if you are going to stand fully in your power and be the kind of leader you truly want to be. But, like all good soul work, truth telling takes practice.
Here are a few things for you to keep in mind as you baby step your way toward speaking your truth.
Opinions vs. Truth
A truth is much different than an opinion. Opinions are usually about me wanting to be right and the other person wrong.
On the other hand, your “truth” runs much deeper than any opinions. Truth is not about being right; it’s about expressing what you think and feel in an authentic way.
Everyone is not going to agree with you or like what you have to say and that has to be okay. Becoming okay with letting other people down is the hardest part of speaking your truth but it is the most important.
When you first get into the habit of speaking your truth you may be tempted to be defensive as a way to protect your truth.
Remember, however, that your truth telling is not about proving something to someone else; it is about honoring what is really happening for you.
You become defensive if you need to win and winning is not the goal of soulful truth telling. Honoring yourself is the goal.
Speaking your truth involves owning and taking responsibility for your actions and/or the circumstances of your life. It is does not involve pointing fingers or casting blame on someone else.
It is true that someone’s actions may have contributed to you being where you are but your decision to let those actions impact you is yours to own. You always have the power to choose how you respond to what someone else says or does.
As you get in the habit of speaking your truth, keep it about you and what is real for you without bringing anyone else into the story.
There can be no judgment as you practice speaking your truth. If you judge yourself you will never be able to fully own your truth. You will spend more time backpedaling or reframing your truth, which will only lead to you lying (at least to yourself).
Stay out of judgment. Let it be what it is without labeling it as right or wrong, good or bad. Those labels are coming from outside yourself and truth telling is about what’s happening inside you.
This practice of truth telling will feel uncomfortable at first but it is in speaking your truth, even when it’s hard and your voice shakes, that you find freedom and true peace.
Here’s to you speaking your truth and rising into your greatness.
From my heart to yours,
If you find yourself struggling to speak your truth even to yourself, let’s talk about how I might be able to support you in gaining the confidence and clarity you need. Schedule a complimentary call today.